The Big Beef

Having personally destroyed the 1-pound Cheeburger Cheeburger Challenge a month ago, I decided last week that it was time to return and dish out punishment on its big brother, the 2-pounder. I warmed up with a beer and then headed to the site of my last victory, only to find that the restaurant was permanently closed. Clearly the beef patties had all run away in fear. Not to be deterred, I went home and looked up their other branch nearby, to pay my respects the following day.

I drove there the following day and, without hesitation, walked in and ordered my 2-pound behemoth and a tasty egg cream (a traditional Brooklyn kids’ drink made by whisking vanilla, soda water and milk together). It was way too messy to hold so, much to my dismay, I had to start by knife and forking all the meat that was protruding from the bun. I was then able to pick up the double-decker and slowly feed it into my gullet, as the grease dripped down my hands. I only really had to pause a few times when I’d swallowed too much and needed a sip to help the charred chunks slide down. Downing the whole mess only took about 15-20 mins.

I think I was expecting fireworks or a big band to launch into song when I completed the task, but I just got a pat on the back from my friend and a feeling of accomplishment. It is often the silent victories that are most important in life anyway. I did earn a free shirt for my efforts as I left the restaurant, though. In the wake of the event, I was anticipating some repurcussions, and certainly I’d have expected to taste meat for hours but everything was fine, other than feeling like a fatty. The ball’s squarely back in your court USA; what’s your next challenge?

2 Responses to “The Big Beef”
  1. sherine says:

    Dude this is how the guy from Man V Food started…

  2. Pop (although i refuse to listen to pop) says:

    I’d like to say I’m proud…………. No really, I would.

    Why couldn’t you be a quarterback? (lol)

    I think you better come home soon son. We do worry about you so.

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