I used to enjoy your company so much. You never visited where I grew up so I had to travel for days just to see you. We’d play together with my brothers and I’d jump on top of you and throw you about. As we grew up, we learned to snowboard together and you came with me on a few overseas holidays. In London, I even enjoyed letting you live with me for a few days at a time.
But something has changed. Now you’re everywhere: waiting on my car, yelling at me every time I walk outside, trying to cover my eyes when I’m driving, climbing on my shoulders when I’m walking to work. The constant attention that you demand makes any journey take three times as long.
Perhaps the problem is really your big brother, Mr Freeze. I think if he wasn’t around, you’d be more friendly. He makes Bryant Park fountain look amazing but I prefer walking around with you in the sunshine without having to huddle under layers and hoodies to keep warm.
I think we’ve spent too much time together lately and we need a little break. How ’bout you just visit me one day at a time. Come say hi at work or share my journey home but let’s not spend every moment together. It’s just too intense. You’re like ice cream to me but I just can’t eat ice cream all day every day. I need a break.