Cthulhu pizza

On New Year’s Eve, I visited old friends in a really old cottage in Biddenden, UK.  We walked the English countryside, played German board games, wore Star Wars onesies, drank Belgian beer, and generally mucked about aplenty.  We also took turns cooking, which gave me the chance to summon the meal that I’d practised once before, in preparation for this very occasion.  This was my chance to make my very own creation of Cthulhu pizza.

It was a sort of triple decker tear n’ share, with a meat half and a veg half, cut out in the shape of Cthulhu – part octopus, part man, part insanity.  As I was creating his hideous likeness, I swayed a little from dizziness.  I was drinking beer at the time, so it was hard to determine the pecise source of this mental onslaught.  I tried to open the windows to clear my head, but the hinges were sealed shut with the passing of many eons and coats of paint.  In desparation, I pummelled the frame until the screeching hinges gave way and the cold air of nameless loathing swirled inwards, knocking me back into full consciousness.  I saw, beneath my hands, his monstrous form in bas-relief – part alien, part pizza.  I cast him savagely into the oven as Cthulhu called to us.  We partook of his essence in a maddening frenzy and became eternal prisoners to his torment.

Who is Cthulhu? – http://www.cthulhu.org/cthulhu/


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