Fat Val Kilmer goes tubing
I was invited upstate with some friends to try my hand at white water tubing. It sounded sort of like white water rafting but without the raft, paddles or safety precautions. More like jumping into a rubber doughnut and letting the river whisk you down the rapids.
The TripAdvisor reviews were splendidly polarised. Half the people voted 5 because it was fun and thrilling, while the other half voted 1 because the rocks weren’t groomed for safety and nobody carries your tube for you. I kid you not. See the link below. Some people just don’t understand how nature works. Nature don’t provide no customer service. Nature don’t need no lawyer. Honey badger don’t care. I figured I was more likely to agree with the 5 crowd, so I jumped in with gusto.
Our location of flotation was Esopus Creek in Phoenicia, NY (yeah, the area is full of Greek/Mediterranean names). The roadtrip up there was wonderfully green and peaceful, despite the fact that every man and his dog had rented a car this weekend to vacate the city and belch carbon dioxide into the air. Living in NYC, I sometimes forget that nature is relaxing, and only a short drive away.
Once we arrived and picked up our inner tubes, we saw that they had 2 little ropes to grab onto, and a wooden disk attached underneath to protect our soggy tushes from the rocks. With a little arm flailing and an awkward, flappy backstroke, we could steer and position ourselves a little. After a few light rapids, we tried linking up and making various formations – the triforce, the pentagram, the human centipede. None of them lasted very long because sooner or later a savage rock threatened the group and then it was every man for himself.
The whole ride was both action-packed and relaxing, and we had a blast. Favourite moments mostly involved watching our friend Jonah’s best impressions of Fat Val Kilmer.
Fat Val Kilmer – http://fatvalkilmer.com/
Greco-Roman names in upsate NY – http://yorkstaters.blogspot.com/2006/01/whats-in-name-no2-origins-of-classical.html
Honey badger don’t care – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg